Other times, you get hit with a case of FOMO, or fear of missing out, and you take a gander at all the men or women you could be dating instead. I am afraid he is staying with you while looking for something he would perceive as better or more exciting. The first thing you need to do is to make sure if your boyfriend is under the same impression. I have been there. Was there infidelity involved on either side? Was he active on the online dating sites the first time you were dating? From your question, I can tell that you two were together in the past. Concerned Girlfriend Dear Concerned Girlfriend, This is a very interesting question, and it really depends on how you feel about your boyfriend. You believe that you are in an exclusive relationship with your boyfriend. If there was infidelity involved, then there is going to be a major trust issue between the two of you that you will have to overcome this time around. He is keeping his options open.
I personally experienced something as such a while back, and I can honestly tell you that it was truly painful for me to think or assume that we were in an exclusive relationship, being that my partner at the time was on dating websites throughout the whole relationship. Take a really good look at the reasons why your relationship ended the first time. A man committed to you would rather lose his arm than cause you despair. Notice that I cannot tell from your question how you feel about this, and what you expect. If he gives you any lame excuses. When someone is in an exclusive relationship, it goes without saying that being in an online dating website or app is wrong, and inappropriate. Other times, you get hit with a case of FOMO, or fear of missing out, and you take a gander at all the men or women you could be dating instead. The issue now is figuring out how and in what capacity. Open communication is essential for building a trusting and ultimately loving relationship. On the other hand, if it is just a mild annoyance to you, then it may not even be worth the energy to talk about it with him. This may also be a sign to you that you are a lot more invested into him than he is into you. Is he really your boyfriend or has your imagination carried you away in this relationship? Katz makes a great point in one of his blog posts about this very dating dilemma online. They keep these secrets because they fear your emotional reaction. For example, if you are going to threaten to leave him unless he cancels out all of his online dating accounts, then you should be prepared to really leave him. I believe that trust is the main ingredient for a healthy relationship, and without it, the relationship becomes troublesome and both of the partners suffer. Are you yourself on dating sites and found out through your own account that he has been logged on? Why did the two of you break up in the first place? Where trust is, love can flourish. My heart sank as the truth I had already known finally started to come out. But then again, so would your partner. He is keeping his options open. This will only put him on the defense and he very well may play the blame shifting game as in make you feel like crap for snooping in the first place. Words to live by: This is a healthy example of how two people get back together. For example, you may tell him that this is unacceptable to you and would lead to ending your relationship, or you may tell him that you would prefer that he stop looking.
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