So using lube reduces friction, which helps prevent pain and tearing. You can do this by masturbating or by looking with a mirror and a flashlight. Some people naturally have more hymenal tissue than others — this pain and bleeding can happen when their hymen gets stretched. Make it easier on yourself and your partner by choosing a time and place where you won't be disturbed. If you're not sure how your partner is feeling, ask before going forward. It can also increase your natural lubrication, making it easier for your partner to enter you painlessly. Are you mature enough? Condoms protect against both pregnancy and sexually-transmitted infections STIs. A good partner should be considerate of your feelings and willing to help you through the process. If you don't think you are ready yet, talk to your partner and ask him to wait until you are. Your partner can also stimulate your clitoris with their fingers or a sex toy. Orgasming before penetration may actually help reduce pain during sex. Are you feeling pressured to have sex? Foreplay can help you relax while increasing arousal.
Start with kissing, move to making out, and stick to whatever pace feels most comfortable for both of you. Try to locate your clitoris before you have sex. Remember that you never have to have sex unless you want to. Try talking to someone about your feelings. Talk about birth control and protection before you have sex. It doesn't "break", but it can be damaged by anything from tampons, doing the splits, or when having sex or inserting larger objects in, which causes the pain most virgins feel. Steps Building a Positive Attitude 1 Make sure you are ready to have sex. Take an over-the-counter pain reliever, clean up any blood, and wear a light pad for a few hours. Even if you don't end up talking to them beforehand, you may want to have someone you could contact in case of emergency. Vaginas are pretty stretchy. If you feel tense when you think about sex or when you and your partner are fooling around, it might be a sign that you should wait. Instead, use a silicone- or water-based lube. The amount of blood should not be nearly as much blood as if you were on your period. Think about whether you're more comfortable having sex at your place or theirs. Go to a nurse, doctor, or your local Planned Parenthood health center to get checked out. A good partner should be considerate of your feelings and willing to help you through the process. This can help you guide your partner to it during sex, especially if your partner is also a virgin. Read more about how pregnancy happens. Try to enjoy the moment instead of rushing to the finish line. Other forms of birth control do not protect against STIs, so a condom gives you an extra layer of protection. Understanding your own anatomy can help you feel more confident, especially if your partner is also a virgin. In rare cases, people may need to see a doctor for a small procedure to open their hymen. Some people naturally have more hymenal tissue than others — this pain and bleeding can happen when their hymen gets stretched. If you are scared of pain, read the article for tips. If you have pain or bleeding, deal with it before it becomes too overbearing. Talking with your partner can establish trust while helping you feel more positive about having sex.
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