As a convert, you or your parents may not feel comfortable having them take such an active role in your spouse-searching efforts. When you have company over, what do you anticipate my role to be? Hadith related by Muslim, Book 1, 67, 68 As such, love should come with devoutness or piety, and without that it becomes mischief. If a dinner reception will trigger certain cultural expectations that are not in line with Islamic prohibitions, then consider a brunch reception. Describe your thoughts regarding household financials. What do you want to improve on? Otherwise, you may want to identify a local Islamic teacher or mentor to help you through this process. Clearly, all interactions between people of the opposite gender can not be avoided, such as in the workplace and in social settings. Don't let them make you think that such behavior is 'normal' or appropriate for Muslims, just because they have been Muslim longer than you. If they post a comment like "MashAllah" on one of your pictures, they know this is inappropriate they should divert their eyes, not subtly flirt and this is a good reminder to lock down your Facebook profile. Then is the wedding event which satisfies the Islamic requirement of making the event public. If your spouse mistreat your family in a situation, how would you handle the situation? Watch out for men 'trolling' Facebook pages for American Muslim converts. How do you feel about the wife working with or without kids?
You don't need to 'suddenly become Arab' for your wedding. Where do you want to live country at different stages of your life? After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public? This will prevent someone with ill-intentions from dragging you along in something they don't have serious commitment to or who deep down thinks their parents may not be open to marrying a convert. You may want to ask a local teacher, mentor, or experienced married convert to meet with them and talk through this approach. Clearly, all interactions between people of the opposite gender can not be avoided, such as in the workplace and in social settings. Christians or Jews , it is not an encouraged option. Describe your thoughts regarding household financials. Have a personal policy that after the first interaction with someone, if you both would like to pursue this further, that you must speak with their parents at the next meeting over phone or in person. What would you do if your spouse became lazy in their prayers, or other Islamic obligations? These interactions should be limited to only what is necessary, and seclusion is always to be avoided. Don't let them make you think that such behavior is 'normal' or appropriate for Muslims, just because they have been Muslim longer than you. Additional avenues to meet other Muslims for marriage prospects Nowadays, some Muslims are turning to the Internet as a means to search for their future spouse. Do not advance the marriage process with someone who hasn't respectfully involved their parents in this process. Remember though, just because something is normal for a society does not justify participating in it nor does it make it right. When do you want to have children? Do you support the idea of utilizing baby-sitters and maids? How will you manage this situation? How do you feel about celebrating birthdays or American holidays? Do you expect all decisions to be made as a couple, considering the other's views? Also fasting is considered a shield in general. Will there be transparency in spending? So you should marry the religious woman otherwise you will be a losers. Then they sign an Islamic marriage contract katb al-katab and also the legal marriage - typically this is done at a mosque by an Imam. What would a daily routine look like in each of these scenarios?
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